I put this out there on Facebook the other day and think it’s worth sharing here:
Story time: a mom of 2 boys here: ages 11&9. 11 year old advises that this girl and him are official… you hold hands and hug is official. Cool..got it I remember. I ask If he’s really sure
Because like 3 weeks ago I thought he liked somebody else. And he said yeah I held her hand and I do really like her. And of course I go forward with a mom smirk and leave him be for a few minutes… then i tell him if he starts to see her after school, I want to make sure that I meet her parents. I told him as well that if she didn’t like him anymore or if she No longer wanted to hold his hand or maybe did not feel like hugging him how would he would react…. He said “well that I wouldn’t bother her anymore or if she didn’t feel like being touched i wouldnt touch her. ” And then I said to him good I am glad you understand.
…. I paused… he walked away… I sat and I called him back….
I want you to be young and I want you to have fun. But I also want you to understand that I love you and I don’t ever want you to put yourself in a compromising situation and if you were doing anything that you don’t feel comfortable with you also have the right to say no. And my youngest chimes in and says “everyone has the right to say no mom, duh” and I laughed because…
It really is just that simple with mom’s of boys.
This isn’t to say im not at all scared… this isn’t to say his heart will not break…
But I have been talking to my kids for years about puberty periods penises and vaginas. The world has changed… my 11 yr old self bit the tongue of the first boy who tried to French me bc it was gross and wrong
I literally broke up with him that exact moment … ewwwww
But I recognize that at any moment my kid grows up and I missed the opportunity to tell him….
I love you , you are going to change someone’s life and your heart will break 1000000 times because of hormones. Dont be scared please just be honest. I’ll never judge you I will always be here on a bad day to listen… I want to know when that first kiss changes you… I want you to know and understand what that means..
Just Because I believe in women rights doesn’t mean that I don’t understand the rights of my children as well. Just because I fight for Women’s rights doesn’t mean that I don’t understand that some day maybe my child could be a part of the 2% False accusations. But I know that if I do my best my kids will have a clear path ahead of them into understandingWhat I am fighting for.
And for all of you older adults I want to let you know this is the reality of my generation. This is the reality of how we have to raise our kids. And with the current climate change we don’t even know if we’ll ever actually have the opportunity for grandchildren. We are doing our best and we are fighting that these headlines that bother you, that these things that you don’t believe have happened to majority of us and we are just trying to make sure that our children are not the victims nor the instigators of these situations. And I hope that all mothers out there understand we have an obligation to change the course of history amd never fear the unknown because it is already known due to the Internet. And I am making sure that my kid knows the truth because of me and not because of a YouTube video. If you want people to start taking responsibility for their actions then you start it now.
That is my story and if you made it through this entire post thank you.